Quiz: Have you fallen asleep in the bedding department again?

1. What’s the first thing you see when you open your eyes?
a) Alarm clock
b) Wife
c) Sign on bedside table advertising interest-free credit on all headboards until 2015

2. Somebody else is in bed with you. Is it:
a) Life partner
b) Cat
c) Elderly couple that smell of charity shops, testing the matress for firmness

3. What’s the worst thing that happens when you get up for a mid-sleep tinkle?
a) Minor bleary-eyed spillage onto toilet carpet
b) Forget to wash hands
c) Escorted from premises by security

4. You are suffering from insomnia. Do you:
a) Read a book
b) Adjourn to the study to work on your pet project – a wholly unauthorised and largely fictional biography of television’s Bradley Walsh
c) Take the lift down to electricals and do some research on the benefits of 2-slice versus 4-slice toasters

5. You have a recurring dream in which you are running naked in a public place. Is it most likely to be:
a) School
b) Your workplace
c) The roof of Debenhams, surrounded by police. There’s a helicopter too.